windowsill

field notes from home

today meant working at my desk, surrounded by silver and quartz and secrets too good to keep for long; and watching annie hall (reminding me of some favourite fall inspiration: a mix of boy and girl) this afternoon with packages and paper and twine.

and then a late afternoon walk to the post office. after, a cup of hot chocolate, the first one this fall. here is the recipe:

1 cup organic milk
dash of organic cream
1/2 bar chocolate
vanilla
pinch cinnamon
pinch salt

heat the milk slowly on simmer; add the chocolate, broken into small pieces. let the chocolate melt, stirring occasionally. add the cream; add the vanilla; add the salt. and a pinch of cinnamon if to your liking. stir, and taste :)

already, i can't wait for the holidays; i think the handmade pledge is responsible. yesterday i found these lovely fox gift tags from oh my cavalier.

. . . mav has me thinking about rooms to write letters in . . .

tonight i smelled snow.

a lull

today smells like weathered wood, and apples. the front window is open, it's raining and grey and somehow so quiet. i am in love with all the green green green. the sound of the rain on the leaves of the apple trees, esme hiding in plain sight inside the little open nooks in the kitchen cupboards, ben watching, watching forever out the window, and me watching ben watching out the window, a mise en abîme of sweetness. it feels like a lull you could curl up into; a good day for toast, and knitting a new cowl with my feet tucked under me on the couch, and maybe a walk into the woods this afternoon. the lake is only a little path away; yesterday i discovered that we can see it from our back porch, in a clearing between the trees.

it's making me dream of a wishlist for fall:

* these handknit ruth cross gloves, in cream

* every time i see this scarf i think, "i must must must have this..."

* this yarn - in snow or cloud

yes, i am in love with pale cream and knitting today :)

...

and beirut's forks and knives (le fête) video from the flying club cup album (perfect cheer for a grey cast day) (check out the others too, they are all so good)

sea change

fjords (norway) by irana (have you also seen her cups? amazing!)

for months now i've been feeling a change inside, a restless wish that goes back to those words i first quoted at the beginning of the new year, a desire to live content with small means....

i understand now that i must first to go to a wellspring of my own, to listen to that little inner eight-ball, that voice inside that says, go, now... go!*  these last few months i've realized i want to only live what i love, to gather my choices so that my life feels as smooth and fine as a small grey stone held lightly in my pocket.

and once i made that decision, at every corner, something new would appear that fit so well with what was unfolding. with what i was creating. ripple after ripple of happenstance - it all seemed to say, yes, yes, this is the way...

so tomorrow we move to a new old house, a little cottage bungalow near lake country. everything is packed up in boxes. the cats are chasing each other up and down the apartment and our voices echo in the open rooms. it's late but i'm excited... and sleep will come.

it seems hard at first, but once you let go, it feels so much better not to wait for some future perfect to do the things you love.

lately i've been wandering online, and i find myself in love with the translations for japanese sites - the word order is often reversed but somehow conveys a meaning more true: where living and art is a world of one continuation... art the life which lives...

it's raining and thundering here right now and there's a cool breeze coming through the night windows.

and i shiver, not because i'm cold but because this was exactly what i was hoping for.

good night ;)
xo

p.s. one more translation:

so far, it might be,
those which you can think that we want truly, were completed.

* yes, my so-called life, yes ;)

late night special

we just had a late night homemade pizza with fresh tomatoes and mozzarella, leftover roasted organic chicken, some basil and salt and pepper. it was delicious! (but don't rub your nose after pinching pepper because you will sneeze! :) now i'm sipping some peppermint tea to soothe my tummy after being sick in bed all day.

these photos from alyson fox make me happy

and this :: miranda july + mike mills + blonde redhead (from smarts and crafts, one of my new favourite blogs)

pause

* thank you for your sweet notes and messages - they have been so dear to me while i've been whilsting away in quiet. i think quiet is good, even more so than it is often given credit for in our modern love of the ever-new. i think seeking the slow life, of little birds, and all this greenery we've seen so far this year (which i love) has made me even more thoughtful, which, of course, for me leads to more quiet ;) sometimes i wish for more of a place for the corners and alcoves of our lives here.

i just read keri's post, and yes, yes, that is it, just so.

esme is sitting beside me and cleaning one checkerboard paw.

spring considerations

inspiration from baileys

reading: the letters of rilke, and writing them, too. sometimes writing out that which i want to understand fully helps me to hold the words as i write them - no longer do they twirl about the page for me to skitter through; this way, i have to truly sit with them.

for now, these questions, that i consider, in the sense of its origin, observing the stars together as a constellation:

if you trust in nature, in the small things that hardly anyone sees, and that can suddenly become huge and beyond measuring; if you have this love for inconsiderable things and try very simply, as someone who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more reconciling, not in your conscious mind perhaps, which lags marveling behind, but in your inmost awareness, awakeness, and knowledge.

i love his {over}use of semi-colons; they are a favourite of mine too.

it's funny how spring nudges and hints at its arrival for weeks and then in all a day it arrives, with spring winds and the smell of earth and moss and green leaf buds and something else too, almost like cinnamon.

i have been taking time as i can every day to sit outside and read, and write.

i take a pear and a crumbling slice or two of organic old cheddar outside with me for later.

spring cleaning is still just a thought, but an excited one; i'm planning on shaking the wintersleep from these rooms, washing the windows and sweeping from every corner this weekend, with baking soda and vinegar and handcrocheted cloths. i am considering that, too. i have a book to share with you :)

esme has found a new loft on top of the dresser - she looks down with prim indifference at ben who stares forlornly up at her. but when she's back on the ground, she's back to being the little sister.

tonight we are going to have artichoke pasta for dinner, and this lemon tart for dessert. i have been craving lemons lately. then we are going to settle in for some big love. :) it's friday.

xo

dwell

in the winter i get quiet.

at home, this room, with winter dusk, white shadows, candle glow, steam, still water, epsom salt, shea butter and lavender, breathe in, clean hair.

lately i like to rinse my hair with honey.

we've been lighting beeswax candles almost every night.

more and more this hemp blanket has become my favourite.

i'm reading icelander right now. i like it.... (i wasn't sure i would.)

i am fascinated by these pieces by melanie bilenker. from materials of gold, resin, ivory piano key laminate, watch crystal, and pigment she crafts these delicately luminous scenes of quiet moments, rendered with thoughtful lines - of her own hair. i still find this both compelling and discomfiting, but beautiful nevertheless. in the tradition of victorian mourning jewelry, these are small hierlooms of spun memory to collect the everyday.

i also love her chatelaine for collecting, recording, and remembering. those useful objects, and how their beauty lies in their use - this is as much a marvel as the beauty we wish to capture: pencil, viewfinder, vial and ivory tags . . .

and the look through the viewfinder:

xo

afternoon tea

my favourite flea market cup for 25 cents, captured through the viewfinder of my polaroid camera. well-loved and tea stained, with fault lines that tell of a long history of cups sipped with stories, tousled morning yawns, afternoons at grandmother's table. what did they drink? chamomile? earl grey? for now, darjeeling white tea, here, with me, just in time for risa's tea party.

i've brought tea biscuits, warmed in the oven, with butter and organic honey. they crumble and melt, no dipping needed (but you can if you like ;)

i'm in a mellow mood for a tea party today. i think it's because we finally have snow. i've never been so excited to hear about wind chill.

soon i'm off to the library - there are books that have finally come in, and i can't wait to see what's waiting for me.

if you (like me) like stories with your tea...

* for esme, with love and squalor (of course! ;)

xo

flurries

this week has been filled with :: warm company :: the smell of rosemary :: beeswax candles in glass jar lanterns :: roast beast :: pennies from heaven :: laughing so hard it hurts :: silly days in pajamas :: superfreak (i heart steve carell) :: late-night crepes with old friends :: making felt mice with embroidered noses for two little reindeer :: crocheting with new yarn :: finally, snow.

last night i dreamt i got a job at the small object's super organized secret underground workshop. there were lists and labels and shelves upon shelves of paper treats, it all fit so perfectly with sarah's genius. today i have been cleaning out my studio, making room for the inspirations and new discoveries i can't wait to share with you.

this year i only want one thing: to seek out that which feels true. not long ago, i read these lines at the worsted witch (i love the worsted witch), and it feels like my mantra for the year to come:

to live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard, to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common — this is my symphony. ~ william henry channing

hoping your holidays were wonderful and wishing you joy and mittens for the new year :)

i need some elves

i don't know everyone who peeks in here, but i wanted to say thank you so much for coming to my shop + blog. it means so much to me, you have no idea! last week was a happy blur of packages and snowy walks to the post office, where the postman was still friendly before the real frazzled look sets in (soon). i was so wonderfully overwhelmed last week i didn't get a chance to say thank you (thank you shari!) and welcome! there's a project by artist lizzie ridout that i love :: she stencils a pretty welcome in chalk dust and then, with the inevitable steps of invited feet, it's swept away and we continue on with our day. but we still hold that welcome, we can still see it in the little swirls of dust left behind. :)

i also like how she says when "someone moves around a space, they create an invisible drawing under their soles."

so i have been knitting, knitting, and loving every minute of it. i settled down to watch the episode of the gilmore girls' we had downloaded last week and found a knitathon unfolding in front of me! perfect! there are more scarves in the shop (and a new one i think will be called cobblestone coming soon..) and winter ornaments for you to wear too...

i love window shopping from your desk, grab a cup of hot chocolate and let your fingertips do the wandering. i had this sweet guy by kate sutton in my etsy favourites, and every day i would wonder, is he gone? so i finally had to get him, because he is too cute to be forgotten.

now i just have to check off everyone else on my list ;)

xo